frequent flyer miles for guilt trips-

 Chances are you've been the victim of guilt trips many, many times AND if you're confused about it, maybe feeling victimized then let me explain.

First, let's take a brief look at the frequent flyer mile program as it is described by wikipedia-

A frequent flyer program (FFP) is a loyalty program offered by many airlines. Typically, airline customers enrolled in the program accumulate frequent flyer miles (kilometers, points, segments) corresponding to the distance flown on that airline or its partners. There are other ways to accumulate miles. In recent years, more miles were awarded for using co-branded credit and debit cards than for air travel. Acquired miles can be redeemed for free air travel; for other goods or services; or for increased benefits, such as travel class upgrades, airport lounge access or priority bookings.


Does such a program exhist in our emotional every day living? Let's investigate the working parts, come with me on a little journey.

I think it's safe to conclude that those issuing the guilt trips are awarded for their loyalty and not those taking them. That's the difference between the airline frequent flyer miles program and the human frequent guilt trip program.

As far as humans are concerned, there isn't a reward for "taking" a guilt trip ( as far as my experience is concerned and if yours is otherwise please inform me.) For me, a guilt trip leaves me with a lot of baggage, some times TONS of it. It's not often that I am able to step off a guilt trip with nothing "to declare."

EXAMPLE; "So, sir, you've just come off a guilt trip, do you have anything to declare?"

(ah, oh, hell yes!)

As a travelling guilt tripper I receive no benefits compared to the frequent flyer who does receive benefits AND unlike the frequent flyer, I am not "loyal" to the "guilt trip" program.

So who then benefits from guilt trips? This is where it gets tricky. Maybe the question will transform itself into "what are the benefits of giving guilt trips?"

O.k let's start by declaring that it is an "entity" that lays the guilt trips on us. The first thing to come to mind would be the devil.

Then, it's pretty obvious that folks around us provide much travel time for us to take guilt trips- never a shortage in that department! These folks, as I will explain are the ones receiving the benefits. I'll show you ( I feel like a lawyer presenting his case LOL) that these benefits are only ego-feeding instruments and have no positive value.

For instance, because I act immature I will not be able to have a constructive dialogue with another fellow or my spouse who has wronged me. I'll act nice toward you and smile but underneath all this clever joyousness of attitude is lurking a snake waiting to bite you!

He (the snake) hasn't found the right opportunity yet, a good one, a time when the guilt trip will be most effective and destroy you emotionally. OR maybe the snake is impatient and strikes at the first opportunity -  "you don't listen to me."

There's a guilt trip that is often preceeded by hours and days of silence by one of the partners involved. The person "laying" on this guilt trip believes in his or her mind that you are being taught a lesson with this silence. You're being punished! YOU need time to think about what you did. HUH, but the truth is that the person who invoked the silence, who made the guilt trip possible, that person is really suffering because being silent for them isn't easy. Nobody gets a reward here?  Well, maybe the person who is "getting" the silent treatment might feel relieved that the other has shut up. I guess that's kind of a reward.

Remember what I said earlier;

So who then benefits from guilt trips? This is where it gets tricky. Maybe the question will transform itself into "what are the benefits of giving guilt trips?"

How about the guilt trip of invoking past mistakes and wrongs? The time that these invokations take place are very important to the guilt trip giver. You just don't throw them out on any occassion, it takes precision timing and planning for them to be effective.

Now you've "goofed up" again, it doen't matter to the G.T.G. (guilt trip giver) wether it was a mistake or on purpose- this is an opportunity. But an opportunity for what?

Since these folks (the G.T.G.) have little insight about handling everyday situations with other people, chances are that days and months of penned up frustrations are waiting to explode like Mount St. Helens.

You have just provided them (the G.T.G.) with the opportunity AND the size and length of your guilt trip will depend on how intense the penned up frustrations are. So, the benefits (if we can call it that) are that the G.T.G. lets off some steam. (ps, I don't like this program). In the back of your mind, when all is erupting, during the thunder and lightning, the smashing and banging, you may hear the call on the loudspeaker of your subconcious; "have a nice guilt trip."

Then there are those who will during a general conversation let slip ever so mindfully on their part a little innuendo for you to "think about later." They benefit (so it seems) this way;

"I guess I told him (or her) " and all day long he or she ( the G.T.G.) pictures in their mind how you are re-acting to what you were told, the little dig. During the day they don't stop thinking about how bad you feel, maybe you are pictured in their mind sitting and crying. Perhaps in the mind of the G.T.G. you are seen declaring how terrible you've been and how you are going to apologize for your terribleness. The G.T.G. smiles at the thought that you will finally come to your senses and pronounce how "wrong you've been."

Oh the saga of frequent guilt trip benefits! Sometimes the giver, other times the getter.

Peace, Love and Respect, the tat2guru.