Oh my, what a trying past few days I've had. First, for you whiners, shut up and PRAY. Most of you have little or nothing to whine about.
Second, for you whiners who feel so victimized by people and society that you use that as an excuse to brow beat every passive, decent, and Good Samaritan type- SHAME ON YOU.
I felt I was at the mercy of injustice when my 22 year old daughter died AND dealing with the world on a daily basis was and is to some degree tough and hurtful. It's a long story AND the story I tell is based on reality and not some fictionized version of victimness that some of you take advantage of when the opportunity is ripe for you.
I've listened to people whine about the economy, their car, the price of gas etc, etc. I would gladly give you my "burden" but really I don't want to disinegrate into a defective coward who cannot see the forrest through the trees!
Yeah, but the part that hurts the most is that folks who CLAIM to be "helpful" are the ones who turned their back on my daughter, Crystal Victoria. AND when she died you used any excuse you could find to not take responsibility for abandoning HOPE, all HOPE while that young girl still breathed!
Excuses, it seems today that it is more normal to make excuses than it is to take responsibility but let me warn you- the time will come when you'll be face to face with those demons you thought you evaded!
So, wake up people and ask yourself what are your priorities?
Ask yourself;
"am I being realisitic about my life?"
"do I really care what is happening to other people?"
"why must it be out of conveniance when I help another?"
"do my actions from my mind match the intentions of my heart?"
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Do I Have the Capacity to be Honest? by tat2guru
The real question is, "do most folks have the capacity to be honest?" The answer is " NO " .
There are a number of reasons why I understand that people aren't honest these days, or I should say during OUR times. Much has to do with fewer people taking responsibility for their actions. Another is there is so much litigation today that for quite a few individuals, they would rather seek legal remedies when they get offended wether they're guilty or not.
Then there are folks who will not be forthcoming because of the potential of retaliation public or private. There seems to exhist in this world citizens that you DARE not approach about any issue because they have and will "get you" or your property because, for the most part they are childish.
There exhists a class of people that would never and will never "own" up to anything even if they are caught red handed. Maybe they don't have a conscious. Maybe they do and they live to see others suffer.
Could you mention why some people aren't honest?
For me, honesty means a clean heart and a healthy soul- it's the difference between sleeping at night or tossing and turning. I am as honest as I can be.
imikimi - sharing creativity
There are a number of reasons why I understand that people aren't honest these days, or I should say during OUR times. Much has to do with fewer people taking responsibility for their actions. Another is there is so much litigation today that for quite a few individuals, they would rather seek legal remedies when they get offended wether they're guilty or not.
Then there are folks who will not be forthcoming because of the potential of retaliation public or private. There seems to exhist in this world citizens that you DARE not approach about any issue because they have and will "get you" or your property because, for the most part they are childish.
There exhists a class of people that would never and will never "own" up to anything even if they are caught red handed. Maybe they don't have a conscious. Maybe they do and they live to see others suffer.
Could you mention why some people aren't honest?
For me, honesty means a clean heart and a healthy soul- it's the difference between sleeping at night or tossing and turning. I am as honest as I can be.
imikimi - sharing creativity
Just a thought
"Weeds grow sometimes very much like flowers, and you can't tell the difference between true and false merely by the shape."
unknown
unknown
Getting Over Feeling Guilty
Getting Over Feeling Guilty
by Guy Finley
Key Lesson: Feeling guilt over what we regret about ourselves makes sense only to a mind that believes soaking in a mud bath is the best way to get clean!
Step Up and Away from Punishing Feelings
No one really wants to talk about it, but the truth is there is a kind of evil spell hanging over each of us and our world as well. In fact, part of this global spell is our denial of its existence. It is called suffering.
Everyone does it -- believing that their suffering somehow benefits them.
That's how the spell works. Why else would anyone punish himself with unhappy feelings unless he had been tricked into somehow perceiving self-hurt as self-help?
Let's examine one of these instances.
First of all, to be angry is to suffer. It doesn't help anyone to get angry. Anger hurts whoever is angry. It burns. Anger ruins relationships, causes heartache and regret, and devastates health.
And yet, in spite of all of these facts, when we are angry it feels right.
Somehow, in some unseen way, anger proves to whoever is experiencing its heated feelings that he or she is right even though, in the eyes of reality, nothing could be further from the truth. The same scenario holds true of worry, anxiety, resentment, doubt, guilt or any dark feeling. How can something so wrong seem so right? Here is the answer. All of these negative emotions feel like they are in your best interest because, at the time of their intrusion into your life, they temporarily fill you with a powerful false sense of self.
However, this sense of self born out of fierce but lying feelings can only exist without your conscious consent or awareness of its being there. Why? Because this negative-self's interests are not in your best interest. This conjured-up temporary identity is nothing but a self-of-suffering. No one chooses to lose.
This lesson may seem difficult at first, but with your persistent wish to understand it, you will one day wonder how you were ever tricked into feeling bad about anything.
The Truth wants you to know that it is never in your best interest to suffer, no matter how inwardly convincing it may feel to you that you will be betraying yourself or someone else if you don't. The only way that any suffering feeling can prove to you that you need it is to hypnotize you with a flood of itself. Step back from yourself.
Learn instead to listen to the quiet stream of higher insight that runs softly through your true nature. It sees through sorrow. Let it show you that suffering proves nothing. If you want to receive some special help for helping yourself escape yourself, always remember to ask yourself this key question: "If I am doing what I want to do, then how come it hurts me to do it?"
The Truth guarantees you will stop doing what you don't want to do once you know what you have been doing against yourself.
Here are five powerful ways to snap the spell of suffering. As you read over each one, think about how you can use its insight the next time you are about to be washed by any flood of painful thoughts or feelings.
Welcome their higher influence into your life.
1.Suffering doesn't prove that you are responsible. What it does prove is that you have abandoned true self-responsibility, or you wouldn't treat yourself so badly.
2.Suffering doesn't prove that you are important. What it does prove is that you would rather feel like a "someone" who is miserable than be a "no one" who is free and quietly happy.
3.Suffering doesn't prove that you are all alone in life. What it does prove is that you prefer the company of unfriendly thoughts and feelings whose very nature is to isolate you from everything good.
4.Suffering doesn't prove that someone else is wrong. What it does prove is that you will go to any lengths, including self-destruction, to prove that you are right.
5.Suffering over your suffering doesn't prove that you want to stop suffering. What it does prove is you are afraid of the end of suffering because you think the end of it means the end of you. It does not.
You do not have to accept any inner-condition that compromises your happiness.
It is never right to feel wrong no matter how right you may think you are to be feeling that way.
Feeling one way and thinking another is what it means to live in conflict. Self-conflict is really the only suffering there is; therefore, self-unity is the only real solution that can snap the spell of self-suffering.
Here is an exercise to help you take the first step up and away from self-punishing feelings. This exercise is called: Is This What I Really Want?
The next time you catch yourself starting to feel bad about anything, immediately stop everything you are doing for a moment and, as simply and as honestly as you can, ask yourself: Is this what I really want? Try to see the whole self-picture as it is unfolding. You will discover that your thoughts are convinced that you must proceed in their direction of guilt, worry, revenge, or fear but you are the one who is feeling bad. These self-betraying thoughts are like a friend who invites you out to a pleasant evening at the fights and then you find yourself in the ring as the main event! I repeat, you do not have to accept any condition that compromises your happiness.
You can and must inwardly say to any conflicting thoughts or feelings that, "You are not what I want!" The clearer this whole picture becomes to you -- that suffering is stupid and must never be justified -- the stronger your right self-assertion for self-unity will become. A whole life is a happy one. Choose to have a happy life by choosing what you really want.
This article is excerpted from The Secret of Letting Go (pages 134-138.)
by Guy Finley
Key Lesson: Feeling guilt over what we regret about ourselves makes sense only to a mind that believes soaking in a mud bath is the best way to get clean!
Step Up and Away from Punishing Feelings
No one really wants to talk about it, but the truth is there is a kind of evil spell hanging over each of us and our world as well. In fact, part of this global spell is our denial of its existence. It is called suffering.
Everyone does it -- believing that their suffering somehow benefits them.
That's how the spell works. Why else would anyone punish himself with unhappy feelings unless he had been tricked into somehow perceiving self-hurt as self-help?
Let's examine one of these instances.
First of all, to be angry is to suffer. It doesn't help anyone to get angry. Anger hurts whoever is angry. It burns. Anger ruins relationships, causes heartache and regret, and devastates health.
And yet, in spite of all of these facts, when we are angry it feels right.
Somehow, in some unseen way, anger proves to whoever is experiencing its heated feelings that he or she is right even though, in the eyes of reality, nothing could be further from the truth. The same scenario holds true of worry, anxiety, resentment, doubt, guilt or any dark feeling. How can something so wrong seem so right? Here is the answer. All of these negative emotions feel like they are in your best interest because, at the time of their intrusion into your life, they temporarily fill you with a powerful false sense of self.
However, this sense of self born out of fierce but lying feelings can only exist without your conscious consent or awareness of its being there. Why? Because this negative-self's interests are not in your best interest. This conjured-up temporary identity is nothing but a self-of-suffering. No one chooses to lose.
This lesson may seem difficult at first, but with your persistent wish to understand it, you will one day wonder how you were ever tricked into feeling bad about anything.
The Truth wants you to know that it is never in your best interest to suffer, no matter how inwardly convincing it may feel to you that you will be betraying yourself or someone else if you don't. The only way that any suffering feeling can prove to you that you need it is to hypnotize you with a flood of itself. Step back from yourself.
Learn instead to listen to the quiet stream of higher insight that runs softly through your true nature. It sees through sorrow. Let it show you that suffering proves nothing. If you want to receive some special help for helping yourself escape yourself, always remember to ask yourself this key question: "If I am doing what I want to do, then how come it hurts me to do it?"
The Truth guarantees you will stop doing what you don't want to do once you know what you have been doing against yourself.
Here are five powerful ways to snap the spell of suffering. As you read over each one, think about how you can use its insight the next time you are about to be washed by any flood of painful thoughts or feelings.
Welcome their higher influence into your life.
1.Suffering doesn't prove that you are responsible. What it does prove is that you have abandoned true self-responsibility, or you wouldn't treat yourself so badly.
2.Suffering doesn't prove that you are important. What it does prove is that you would rather feel like a "someone" who is miserable than be a "no one" who is free and quietly happy.
3.Suffering doesn't prove that you are all alone in life. What it does prove is that you prefer the company of unfriendly thoughts and feelings whose very nature is to isolate you from everything good.
4.Suffering doesn't prove that someone else is wrong. What it does prove is that you will go to any lengths, including self-destruction, to prove that you are right.
5.Suffering over your suffering doesn't prove that you want to stop suffering. What it does prove is you are afraid of the end of suffering because you think the end of it means the end of you. It does not.
You do not have to accept any inner-condition that compromises your happiness.
It is never right to feel wrong no matter how right you may think you are to be feeling that way.
Feeling one way and thinking another is what it means to live in conflict. Self-conflict is really the only suffering there is; therefore, self-unity is the only real solution that can snap the spell of self-suffering.
Here is an exercise to help you take the first step up and away from self-punishing feelings. This exercise is called: Is This What I Really Want?
The next time you catch yourself starting to feel bad about anything, immediately stop everything you are doing for a moment and, as simply and as honestly as you can, ask yourself: Is this what I really want? Try to see the whole self-picture as it is unfolding. You will discover that your thoughts are convinced that you must proceed in their direction of guilt, worry, revenge, or fear but you are the one who is feeling bad. These self-betraying thoughts are like a friend who invites you out to a pleasant evening at the fights and then you find yourself in the ring as the main event! I repeat, you do not have to accept any condition that compromises your happiness.
You can and must inwardly say to any conflicting thoughts or feelings that, "You are not what I want!" The clearer this whole picture becomes to you -- that suffering is stupid and must never be justified -- the stronger your right self-assertion for self-unity will become. A whole life is a happy one. Choose to have a happy life by choosing what you really want.
This article is excerpted from The Secret of Letting Go (pages 134-138.)
what is a blog anyway?
A blog (a blend of the term web log)[1] is a type of website or part of a website.
Blogs are usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.
Entries are commonly displayed in reverse-chronological order. Blog can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog.
Most blogs are interactive, allowing visitors to leave comments and even message each other via widgets on the blogs and it is this interactivity that distinguishes them from other static websites.[2]
Many blogs provide commentary or news on a particular subject; others function as more personal online diaries.
A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, Web pages, and other media related to its topic.
The ability of readers to leave comments in an interactive format is an important part of many blogs.
Most blogs are primarily textual, although some focus on art (Art blog), photographs (photoblog), videos (video blogging), music (MP3 blog), and audio (podcasting).
Microblogging is another type of blogging, featuring very short posts.
from WIKIpedia.
Blogs are usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.
Entries are commonly displayed in reverse-chronological order. Blog can also be used as a verb, meaning to maintain or add content to a blog.
Most blogs are interactive, allowing visitors to leave comments and even message each other via widgets on the blogs and it is this interactivity that distinguishes them from other static websites.[2]
Many blogs provide commentary or news on a particular subject; others function as more personal online diaries.
A typical blog combines text, images, and links to other blogs, Web pages, and other media related to its topic.
The ability of readers to leave comments in an interactive format is an important part of many blogs.
Most blogs are primarily textual, although some focus on art (Art blog), photographs (photoblog), videos (video blogging), music (MP3 blog), and audio (podcasting).
Microblogging is another type of blogging, featuring very short posts.
from WIKIpedia.
Friends are important
Friends are a pretty important part of most people's lives. Research shows that having quality relationships increases your likelihood of being happy - so it's good for your happiness to be a great friend and to have a group of close friends surrounding you too.
A good friend might be someone who's there to provide support when times are tough, or someone you can rely on to celebrate a special moment with you.
You might see them every day, once a year, or less. You might hardly see them at all but instead keep in touch via telephone, email, or online.
Friends might come and go in your life, they might make you laugh and cry, but most importantly of all they love you for who you are. It doesn't matter what a person looks like or what kind of clothes they wear, but it's what's on the inside that counts. It's the actions they take, no matter how big or small, to show you how much of a good friend they are, and being there for you no matter what, even when things are incredibly important!
What is a good friend?
This is how a number of young people responded when asked "What makes a good friend?"
1. someone who will support you no matter what.
2. someone you can trust and who won't judge you.
3. someone who won't put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings, but will show kindness and respect.
4. someone who will love you not because they feel they have to because you're their friend, but because they choose to.
5. someone whose company you enjoy and whose loyalty you can depend upon.
6. someone who will be there no matter what your situation is.
7. someone who is trustworthy and not afraid to tell you the truth, no matter how hard it is sometimes.
8. someone who can laugh when you laugh.
9. someone who will stick around when things get rough.
10. someone who makes you smile.
11. someone who can accept you for who you are, and just lend you an ear when you need to whine or complain.
12. someone who will cry when you cry.
13. someone who will give you room to change.
Being there for a friend-
Friendships are probably some of the most important relationships you will have in your life. Many of your favourite memories are likely to include times you have spent with friends. Friends are possibly the people who keep you sane (although they can sometimes drive you mad as well!).
Friendships can be hard work sometimes, especially when your good friend is going through a tough time or is just feeling down. Not knowing what to do, or what to say can be hard, frustrating, and emotionally challenging. However, just by thinking about what you can do to make them feel better, shows that you are a good friend. So how can you be there for a friend in need?
Listen - Never underestimate the importance of listening. One of the important parts of listening is trying to understand the situation from your friend's point of view. If you aim to do this you'll find you'll ask the right sort of questions and they'll appreciate having someone who truly cares about how they feel.
From that point on you will probably feel more comfortable talking through possible solutions to your friend's situation with them, if they want to. Don't assume your friend wants advice - sometimes they may simply want someone to listen to what they're going through, and to work out what they're going to do themselves.
If it gets out of your depth, or you feel that you can't cope, say so, and offer alternatives such as seeing a professional, and offer to be there to support them.
Check out the fact sheets in the Who can help you section for more info on the types of help out there.
Get the facts - If your friend has a medical condition or mental illness, a good way to offer support would be for you to learn about what your friend has been diagnosed with. This simple action shows that you care and that you are not going to run away because your friend's situation has changed. This will let them know that you like them for who they are.
Another good step is seeing whether there are support groups in your local areas and suggest coming along with your friend.
Give your friend a hug - A simple gesture such as a hug or a smile can show your friend that they are not alone and that you are there for them.
Be willing to make a tough call - If you think a friend is displaying a serious risk to their personal safety, you may need to act without their consent. No matter how hard it can be or if you are worried about your friend's reaction, just remember it's because you care about them and you don't want them to be hurt.
Depending on the situation, you may need to seek outside help; whether it's a teacher, counsellor, Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800 - free call from a landline) or Lifeline (13 11 14 - cost of local call from a landline), a family member or another adult.
Let your friend know you care - You might want to write a letter or a poem addressed to your friend, showing how special they are to you and no matter how tough things get; that you will be there for them because that's the importance of friendship.
Keep in touch - If you can't physically be with your friend when in need; think about sending an email, chatting on MSN or a quick phone call or sms; to show that you are there for them.
Check out ReachOut.com - You may also find it helpful to look through some other Reach Out fact sheets and stories, and show these to your friend. Stories on the site are inspiring and reinforce that your friend is not alone and that no matter how dark that tunnel looks there is light at the other end.
Jump onto the Reach Out Forums - It may be helpful for you and/or your friend to jump on the Reach Out Online Community and to chat to other young people who have had similar experiences and find out how to get through it.
Looking after yourself
Being a good friend is important, but before you can be a good friend it's important to look after your own well being as well. Supporting a friend through tough periods can place pressure on you, and it may help to talk with someone about it. This might be a teacher, school counsellor, family member or another adult.
http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/what-is-a-good-friend
A good friend might be someone who's there to provide support when times are tough, or someone you can rely on to celebrate a special moment with you.
You might see them every day, once a year, or less. You might hardly see them at all but instead keep in touch via telephone, email, or online.
Friends might come and go in your life, they might make you laugh and cry, but most importantly of all they love you for who you are. It doesn't matter what a person looks like or what kind of clothes they wear, but it's what's on the inside that counts. It's the actions they take, no matter how big or small, to show you how much of a good friend they are, and being there for you no matter what, even when things are incredibly important!
What is a good friend?
This is how a number of young people responded when asked "What makes a good friend?"
1. someone who will support you no matter what.
2. someone you can trust and who won't judge you.
3. someone who won't put you down or deliberately hurt your feelings, but will show kindness and respect.
4. someone who will love you not because they feel they have to because you're their friend, but because they choose to.
5. someone whose company you enjoy and whose loyalty you can depend upon.
6. someone who will be there no matter what your situation is.
7. someone who is trustworthy and not afraid to tell you the truth, no matter how hard it is sometimes.
8. someone who can laugh when you laugh.
9. someone who will stick around when things get rough.
10. someone who makes you smile.
11. someone who can accept you for who you are, and just lend you an ear when you need to whine or complain.
12. someone who will cry when you cry.
13. someone who will give you room to change.
Being there for a friend-
Friendships are probably some of the most important relationships you will have in your life. Many of your favourite memories are likely to include times you have spent with friends. Friends are possibly the people who keep you sane (although they can sometimes drive you mad as well!).
Friendships can be hard work sometimes, especially when your good friend is going through a tough time or is just feeling down. Not knowing what to do, or what to say can be hard, frustrating, and emotionally challenging. However, just by thinking about what you can do to make them feel better, shows that you are a good friend. So how can you be there for a friend in need?
Listen - Never underestimate the importance of listening. One of the important parts of listening is trying to understand the situation from your friend's point of view. If you aim to do this you'll find you'll ask the right sort of questions and they'll appreciate having someone who truly cares about how they feel.
From that point on you will probably feel more comfortable talking through possible solutions to your friend's situation with them, if they want to. Don't assume your friend wants advice - sometimes they may simply want someone to listen to what they're going through, and to work out what they're going to do themselves.
If it gets out of your depth, or you feel that you can't cope, say so, and offer alternatives such as seeing a professional, and offer to be there to support them.
Check out the fact sheets in the Who can help you section for more info on the types of help out there.
Get the facts - If your friend has a medical condition or mental illness, a good way to offer support would be for you to learn about what your friend has been diagnosed with. This simple action shows that you care and that you are not going to run away because your friend's situation has changed. This will let them know that you like them for who they are.
Another good step is seeing whether there are support groups in your local areas and suggest coming along with your friend.
Give your friend a hug - A simple gesture such as a hug or a smile can show your friend that they are not alone and that you are there for them.
Be willing to make a tough call - If you think a friend is displaying a serious risk to their personal safety, you may need to act without their consent. No matter how hard it can be or if you are worried about your friend's reaction, just remember it's because you care about them and you don't want them to be hurt.
Depending on the situation, you may need to seek outside help; whether it's a teacher, counsellor, Kids Helpline (1800 55 1800 - free call from a landline) or Lifeline (13 11 14 - cost of local call from a landline), a family member or another adult.
Let your friend know you care - You might want to write a letter or a poem addressed to your friend, showing how special they are to you and no matter how tough things get; that you will be there for them because that's the importance of friendship.
Keep in touch - If you can't physically be with your friend when in need; think about sending an email, chatting on MSN or a quick phone call or sms; to show that you are there for them.
Check out ReachOut.com - You may also find it helpful to look through some other Reach Out fact sheets and stories, and show these to your friend. Stories on the site are inspiring and reinforce that your friend is not alone and that no matter how dark that tunnel looks there is light at the other end.
Jump onto the Reach Out Forums - It may be helpful for you and/or your friend to jump on the Reach Out Online Community and to chat to other young people who have had similar experiences and find out how to get through it.
Looking after yourself
Being a good friend is important, but before you can be a good friend it's important to look after your own well being as well. Supporting a friend through tough periods can place pressure on you, and it may help to talk with someone about it. This might be a teacher, school counsellor, family member or another adult.
http://au.reachout.com/find/articles/what-is-a-good-friend
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