Some folks are "worried" about me. Others think I'm "hiding" in the woodworks. Then there are those who just plain understand that I am "getting it together" again.
A friend JoJo was upset with me that I stopped calling him as often as I was and he was "worried" about me. When I returned his call today (he called me earlier this morning) he said he "prayed" on what message to leave me and that's why he said "it's a pattern with you, you come out for a while, help people and then you disappear."
At some point in our conversation I apologized for hurting his feelings and it wasn't intentional. I went on to explain that yes, while it is true that I hang out for a while and then I don't hang out for a while it's not like I "hide in the woodwork" because people know where I live.
Then I explained more to JoJo that when I get overwhelmed with life's situations especially when there's more than usual negativity coming at me I tend to "back off" and go to that "line of departure" that Bill Wilson talks about in the book As Bill Sees It.
That line of departure is a place where I stay and pray, meditate and self-examinate. It's a place where I decide and learn through prayer, meditation and self-examination what I can accept and what I can and cannot change- change as far as my life is concerned and the unbalance at the time. This sorting out process shows me the wisdom in what I am able to accept and change AND what to do if there's action to be taken. I also become prepared to make any apologies necessary if I hurt anyone. I did apologize to Jo Jo for not calling as much as I was since it did hurt his feelings. Then I leave the line of departure OR go hang out again- that simple.
I was just speaking with my spiritual advisor (B-man) and we discussed that I am applying the principle of Step Ten during these situations. We agreed that technically there is no time limit that one can apply to the sorting out process when we are in deep prayer, meditation and self-examination. I confirmed our conclusion by reciting to him from page 89, Step Ten in the Twelve and Twelve;
"Once this healthy practice has been grooved, it will be so interesting and profitable that the time it takes won't be missed. For these minutes AND hours spent in self-examination are bound to make all the other hours of our day better and happier." end quote.
JoJo and I have a mutual friend Joe W. who also called today and whom I also didn't get back to. Joe W. ran into (not literally) JoJo and they were discussing how I appear and disappear. I called Joe W. and apologized for ignoring him and not returning his call. I did explain to Joe W. that I was helping a friend move 2 refrigerators using my truck and travelling about 30 miles round trip. When he said "you do disappear" at times invoking the conversation he had earlier about me with JoJo ( because they were worried about me) I asked him to rephrase that because I DON'T DISAPPEAR- people know where I live and saying I " disappear " takes the whole thing out of context.
When YOU say I disappear - truthfully YOU are writing me off in your mind, no? "Oh, where's John?" "Oh, he disappeared again." Chances are since I disappeared you won't call me or come to see me huh?
I mentioned to the Guru that I was guilty of this myself because the first time it happened I was told "that just John, that's his MO".
ReplyDeletePeople tend to do that a lot in everything in life. We over-generalize. One reason is that our minds are cognitive misers. That is one of the reasons for racism and such. It is easier for our minds to group things; whether that be people or behaviors.