If your mind STOPS in its tracks and you think to yourself, " I really need to change" then, at that moment, if the next thing you do isn't any DIFFERENT from what you're used to doing you have not even begun to take CHANGING yourself seriously.
Folks find themselves in an awkward position and or maybe in some kind of trouble. Under most circumstances the human tendancy is to GET the focus off me, why?
We might feel embarrassed on the one hand and on the other hand we might need to buy some time to prepare our alibi, NOT that we could convince someone that "we weren't at the scene of the crime" so to speak, but to make an excuse for our emotional and mental dysfunction.
More often than NOT, during the process of creating our " defense " we create MORE problems from which closer scrutiny upon our condition arises from the said injured party.
LOOK, people see through our costumes or attempts to disguise the real us. It's my experience most times the person who is in the wrong will go to great lengths to get THE LAST WORD IN. YOU'RE obvious.
Why can't we change then? Why is changing so hard or painful?
The first block to change is the inability to be realisitic about ourselves which is a by product of NOT being able to be HONEST. An honest person won't prolong an arguement, in fact, a truelly honest person, even if he or she has done nothing wrong, when they see and sense the current discussion is not bearing any fruit of good will in fact AND should at least apologize for getting the other person upset.
When you "challenge" ME and IF I respond, and then you continue on and on and on about how "there's something wrong with me for being upset" AND you ignore the intitial challenge, it is at that point that I understand YOU to be a person of limited conscience OR worse, a troublemaker. Either way it won't matter to ME hours after the point of our impact while it is still bothering you because I know people as well as myself - we act and re-act. People with limited conscious and troublemakers spend hours, days and months dwelling on what appears to them " the greatest injustice" without even considering that upon the field which THEY made a battle, IT was THEY who fired the first volley.
It is from YOU that I learned much about ME- thank you, thank you, thank you.
I started this journey on April 15, 1988 when I made myself available for change. Not long after that day I met my teacher, my spiritual advisor, Michael. Michael, who sponsored me through the "maze" of transformation has since gone on to be with his ancestors. His words ring STRONG today and I am indebted, I feel, to carry on his legacy of selflessness.
The "course" of action that led me to a mystical experience was embodied in the principles of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Michael explained to me from the outset that "we don't get better then do the steps, we do the steps and get better." I agree.
Before I continue allow me to repeat; " I made myself available " at first briefly, then occassionally, then frequently and NOW I'm available always.
For me to change, and change IS constant I need to be available. Available how? I need to be observant and aware - conscious. This is a stark contrast from being say compulsive because as a compulsive person I act first and think later. As a conscious person I think first AND then may not even act. But this change doesn't come easy, one might even say it comes with a price.
The image I hold of myself, my ego doesn't like to be subpoened for any MORAL inquiry and will, if it has to only come kicking and screaming. Maybe your ego is so captivating that escape from its slavery seems impossible and if that's the case I pray for you. On the other hand YOU may not understand ego at all. Nor would you even begin to consider the consequences of unbridled emotion and erratic re-action toward your fellow man.
Some people spend their whole lives lost only to spend their death lonely. Hard hearts are sad creatures.
It wasn't until my back was against the proverbial wall that I raised my hands and surrendered. It wasn't until the pain became unbearable, AGAIN that I hung my head and considered submission. It wasn't until I became honest with myself and said to myself
" enough is enough " AND at this point I knew I was unable to make even a LAST STAND.
Transforming isn't something that needs be applied when you're at the end of your rope. If you have an inkling that, in the grand scheme of things your contributions cause more confusion than harmony then you may at any time make yourself available to change, you must be prepared however to walk away- to walk away from yourself as you see yourself and seek the real you.
Some folks can't bear the thought of this transition and will after a brief consideration succumb to the fact that since "others act this way , why should I be any different?" They may even, without any experience or true facts about the case look upon peaceful and serene folks as boring and NOT fun.
We beg to differ with that opinion and WE do have sense of humor- we just know when and where its appropriate.
If you don't care at all about the contribution you make to mankind then we feel sorry for you friend. We would hope that one day you would be open to a most basic principle of humankind and that is if you can't help another person at least don't hurt them.
You may change because you want to OR you may change because you have to. It's not an easy decision. When guilt and shame weigh you down enough then you might consider your perspective and until then one thing won't change- we'll be here to help you. And maybe one day even laugh about it.
tat2guru
Folks find themselves in an awkward position and or maybe in some kind of trouble. Under most circumstances the human tendancy is to GET the focus off me, why?
We might feel embarrassed on the one hand and on the other hand we might need to buy some time to prepare our alibi, NOT that we could convince someone that "we weren't at the scene of the crime" so to speak, but to make an excuse for our emotional and mental dysfunction.
More often than NOT, during the process of creating our " defense " we create MORE problems from which closer scrutiny upon our condition arises from the said injured party.
LOOK, people see through our costumes or attempts to disguise the real us. It's my experience most times the person who is in the wrong will go to great lengths to get THE LAST WORD IN. YOU'RE obvious.
Why can't we change then? Why is changing so hard or painful?
The first block to change is the inability to be realisitic about ourselves which is a by product of NOT being able to be HONEST. An honest person won't prolong an arguement, in fact, a truelly honest person, even if he or she has done nothing wrong, when they see and sense the current discussion is not bearing any fruit of good will in fact AND should at least apologize for getting the other person upset.
When you "challenge" ME and IF I respond, and then you continue on and on and on about how "there's something wrong with me for being upset" AND you ignore the intitial challenge, it is at that point that I understand YOU to be a person of limited conscience OR worse, a troublemaker. Either way it won't matter to ME hours after the point of our impact while it is still bothering you because I know people as well as myself - we act and re-act. People with limited conscious and troublemakers spend hours, days and months dwelling on what appears to them " the greatest injustice" without even considering that upon the field which THEY made a battle, IT was THEY who fired the first volley.
It is from YOU that I learned much about ME- thank you, thank you, thank you.
I started this journey on April 15, 1988 when I made myself available for change. Not long after that day I met my teacher, my spiritual advisor, Michael. Michael, who sponsored me through the "maze" of transformation has since gone on to be with his ancestors. His words ring STRONG today and I am indebted, I feel, to carry on his legacy of selflessness.
The "course" of action that led me to a mystical experience was embodied in the principles of the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. Michael explained to me from the outset that "we don't get better then do the steps, we do the steps and get better." I agree.
Before I continue allow me to repeat; " I made myself available " at first briefly, then occassionally, then frequently and NOW I'm available always.
For me to change, and change IS constant I need to be available. Available how? I need to be observant and aware - conscious. This is a stark contrast from being say compulsive because as a compulsive person I act first and think later. As a conscious person I think first AND then may not even act. But this change doesn't come easy, one might even say it comes with a price.
The image I hold of myself, my ego doesn't like to be subpoened for any MORAL inquiry and will, if it has to only come kicking and screaming. Maybe your ego is so captivating that escape from its slavery seems impossible and if that's the case I pray for you. On the other hand YOU may not understand ego at all. Nor would you even begin to consider the consequences of unbridled emotion and erratic re-action toward your fellow man.
Some people spend their whole lives lost only to spend their death lonely. Hard hearts are sad creatures.
It wasn't until my back was against the proverbial wall that I raised my hands and surrendered. It wasn't until the pain became unbearable, AGAIN that I hung my head and considered submission. It wasn't until I became honest with myself and said to myself
" enough is enough " AND at this point I knew I was unable to make even a LAST STAND.
Transforming isn't something that needs be applied when you're at the end of your rope. If you have an inkling that, in the grand scheme of things your contributions cause more confusion than harmony then you may at any time make yourself available to change, you must be prepared however to walk away- to walk away from yourself as you see yourself and seek the real you.
Some folks can't bear the thought of this transition and will after a brief consideration succumb to the fact that since "others act this way , why should I be any different?" They may even, without any experience or true facts about the case look upon peaceful and serene folks as boring and NOT fun.
We beg to differ with that opinion and WE do have sense of humor- we just know when and where its appropriate.
If you don't care at all about the contribution you make to mankind then we feel sorry for you friend. We would hope that one day you would be open to a most basic principle of humankind and that is if you can't help another person at least don't hurt them.
You may change because you want to OR you may change because you have to. It's not an easy decision. When guilt and shame weigh you down enough then you might consider your perspective and until then one thing won't change- we'll be here to help you. And maybe one day even laugh about it.
tat2guru
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